..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
