I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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