That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
