So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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