The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
