I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
