I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
