dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
