Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My balls are so social today.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
