I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
