i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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