If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
