I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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