do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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