Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
