...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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