Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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