it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
