im drinking this country out of the recession.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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