i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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