I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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