I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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