so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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