I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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