Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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