East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
