lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
