A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
