I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
