You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
