Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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