Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
