I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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