I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's the barista slut.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
