U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
