Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
