i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
