i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
