Little spoons don't ask big questions
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
