Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
