We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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