We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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