why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
