I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
