drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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