he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
