So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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