I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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