Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
