'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
