The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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